Already Happy

Friends occasionally encourage me to be happy and to see the blessing in my life regardless of what bleak situation I may be drudging through. It is in those moments I feel perhaps I have not been loud enough in giving thanks and recognition for what I have. So, I start racking my brain . . . "Did I forget to say thanks to them for something? Was there something that happened that I don't know about that I should be thankful for? Oh, NO! I don't want my friend to feel I don't appreciate them!" Sometimes, I even start listing everything they have EVER done for me "Thanks for all you do for me, thank you for the cup of coffee four months ago, that piece of chewing gum you just gave me, and the ride to the store when I was sick, and for having us over for dinner, and for opening the door for me last Thursday, and for holding my hair after that party in college . . . and . . . and" But, that is shortly before I remember - that I do. I say "Thank You." several times a day. And I say it with mindfulness and sincerity. It seems they need me to feel happiness loudly because the frankness with which I speak of life is uncomfortable for them. If my ability to speak freely about things that suck makes someone brand me a complainer - than they misunderstand my comfort with the existence of crappy things.

I am going to come out of my normal morose string of thoughts to let you know that I am a happy person. I may have some "Debbie Downer" tendencies, but, it is not out of general discontent that I share my frustrations. Do not confuse honesty with unhappiness. It is out of a need to recognize that there is still much to be done in this world that I speak of the things that are not always fun to hear about. It is my way of reminding myself that any contentment I feel can be seen in contrast to something that brings sorrow or upset. It is the rocks in my shoe - the salt in my tea. If it makes you uncomfortable . . . just know it isn't about you. I do it for me. And I don't go out of my way to point these things out to you. I just don't hide them behind rainbows and cupcakes. I am clear about the existing muck, because, I could easily become complacent.

I have a great life. If I died today - I had things that other's search for their whole life. I have an amazing family and we find joy in this life and in each other. I have great friends. And though, just recently, I mentioned a frustration with meeting NEW people, It was not a comment on the LACK of good people already in my life. It was just a remark on the effort to expand love in the world through new friendships. I recognize the joys and blessings in my life. Maybe, you struggle with that. But, don't assume everyone does.

I don't get mad with people who think they are broke when they have less than $100.00 in the bank and a paycheck coming in a week. I don't deny the pain and difficulty of driving with a sprained ankle when I have a friend in the hospital with cancer. I will not compare my pain or yours. And I will not compare our happiness either. I have no desire to compete for your pain so why should I borrow your happiness?

If you find the sad things that happen to others a bit too much to handle and you aren't as strong as you would like to be, that doesn't mean others aren't. And that doesn't mean they need you to remind them that they have goodness in their lives. The truth is . . . if someone lives a life full of adversity and pain . . . they will be the first to tell you "It could be worse."