Poker Face

I have a moniker that my grandmother placed upon me when I was young. I am known by this name by family and will respond to it just as willingly as to my birth name. The name I will keep secret to you - because it is kind of like in CATS where all the cats had multiple names that served them different purposes (I learned all about that show from my aunt who LOVES it). I have this one for family. It is a bit of a talisman. It is a name that in one word describes my tendency to emote through facial expressions. Which, I do more than most people. However, the funny thing IS . . . people often misread my facial expressions and go about thinking they know exactly what I am thinking without having ever actually spoken to me. Funny thing about THAT IS . . . it isn't funny. It causes hurt feelings when there shouldn't be any or someone thinks I am amused when - I am actually pissed (or vice versa). I have struggled with this for some time because I don't like misunderstandings. I have finally figured out what purpose this strange 'talent' offers to me. It provides anonymity. It makes it possible to allow random people to come to their (in some cases ridiculous) conclusions about who I am without ever having to say a word to me. It makes it easy to ride the bus, or avoid a busy-body. I can also think "You are an asshole who isn't funny." and it is instantly translated into "Please, tell me more about yourself!" well, this sucks . . . except when that asshole wants to give me something pretty or buy me a drink CHA-CHING! Anyway, I used to think this wasn't okay. I would interrupt just to try and feel better about the interaction - I felt it was somehow my fault that this happens. I was hurt that some didn't care to know me and mad that others wouldn't go away. But, after careful consideration . . . it is my fault. But, there isn't a lot I can do about it. I was born with this face and whatever nerve endings that respond to my emotional brain stigma are actually creating fantastic facial expressions that people who do take the time to know me learn to read as a part of getting to know me. And I have decided that if someone who is so busy with themselves to not notice they are getting on my nerves wants to buy me a drink - it is the hazard of being that person. I like margaritas.