Jewish Secular Reality is American Secular Reality

Alternative Title: You are being an asshole and I am not your problem.

In a recent study by the Pew Research Center it was determined that there is an increased secularism of American Jews. It has caused a lashing out of vicious un-loving remarks from Jews across the country blaming families like mine for the loss of membership in their institutions. My own recent experience of being discriminated against by members of the Jewish community for being a non-Jewish spouse to one of their own - certainly made me angry enough that I ALMOST pulled my children out of Hebrew School. Instead, I thought I would give the congregation a chance to prove that they had the Chutzpah to make comments to my face (and not just to my Jewish spouse). What isn't being mentioned is the fact that the study reflects that secularism is on the rise in the United States across the board. Here I provide some conversational context for those who, upon seeing the results of the study, went looking for someone to blame.

Personal History (modified from oral telling and basic math): 

A few generations ago there was a black woman who was brought to the United States and sold as a slave in the American South. She had a tribal religion from Africa. She was raped by the son of the Baptist man who purchased her body and she had a daughter. That daughter, born a slave, ran away and married a Cherokee Man. She had no particular religion but, was good with herbs. They were forced to leave their home and moved to Arkansas. They had a daughter there, she made moonshine, and smoked a pipe and learned from her mother, they branded her a witch. She married a man and they had children one was born in Missouri. He moved to Kansas and wed a young woman whose family had been assimilated on a reservation in Oklahoma, they went to church. They had three daughters. One of their daughters married a man from an Irish family (who had their own history of religious conversion and assimilation). Before they had married, the man had a son with a Catholic Guatemalan woman and the marriage was annulled. The son was raised in Guatemala as a Christian. They had six children together, who they raised as United Methodists. One of their daughters married three times, having four children. Her first marriage was to a Presbyterian and produced one son (he is now a Lutheran), Her second marriage was to a Re-Organized Mormon (a religion that was less than two hundred years old) produced two daughters (one is a secular Christian, the other a Taoist) her third marriage was to a Jew and they had one daughter (she is being raised Jewish). This woman also had a cousin who also married a Jew - and that cousin had three daughters who they raised Jewish. The woman's Taoist daughter, from her second marriage, also married a Jew. This daughter had two children who are being raised as Jews. This family went from zero Jews to eight (the Taoist has not yet converted). 

Religious History (the creation of an expanded family tree):

But Naomi replied, "Turn back, my daughters! Why should you go with me? Have I any more sons in my body who might be husbands for you? Turn back, my daughters, for I am too old to be married. Even if I thought there was hope for me, even if I were married tonight and I also bore sons, should you wait for them to grow up? Should you on their account debar yourselves from marriage? Oh, no my daughters! My lot is far more bitter than yours, for the hand of the LORD has struck out against me." 

They broke into weeping again, and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law farewell. But Ruth clung to her. So she said, "See your sister-in-law has returned to her people and her gods. Go follow your sister-in-law." But Ruth replied, "Do not urge me to leave you, to turn back and not follow you. For wherever you go; I will go. Wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your G_d my G_d. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. Thus and more may the LORD do to me if anything but death parts me from you."

and the story continues with the meeting of Boaz . . . May the LORD make the woman who is coming into your house like Rachel and Leah, both of whom built up the House of Israel!

Historical Context (incomplete, non-chronological order):

Age of Enlightenment, Literacy, The Printing Press, Colonization, Darwin, Industrialization, Modernism, Post-Modernism, Capitalism, Feminism, Fascism, Corporatism, World Wars, Radio, Human Rights, Television. Civil Rights. GLBT Rights. Isolationism. Globalization. The Internet. 

Popular Culture (a sampling - not rated by impact or importance):

Jazz, Rock and Roll, Laugh-In, Father Knows Best, Punk, EMO, Sesame Street, Age of Aquarius, Joan Baez, The Beatles, Muppet Show, Dalai lama, The Today Show, Saturday Night Live, Barbie Dolls, Bob Dylan, Stephen Spielberg, Star Wars, The Daily Show, Fox News, Bill Cosby, Oprah, Channel One, Shirley Temple, MTV, Twitter . . . the list is long in history and content . . . add your own - Here is one more:

"Imagine"

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

HOLWhy Postscript

Hummingbird is my Maternal Grandmother - far from perfect, she struggled with many of the lessons that she ended up teaching me. She was a loyal and devoted matriarch but, she could be stubborn, judgmental, and skeptical of things she was not familiar with.

She continued to challenge her own notions of what was good and right and it was through this process that she continued to grow as a person until her dying day.

Her last words to me were "I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up." and "I love you."
And that may quite possibly be the most important lessons she taught me.

Hummingbird, Owl, Lark . . . Why?

Hummingbird passed through to the other side recently. She was very busy her whole life, never  bothering to slow her pace, as that is not the nature of Hummingbird. Hummingbird was so beautiful. Although she was always working on something - doing, doing, doing - not one person failed to see how beautiful she was. 

I am part Hummingbird. Just enough, that I could fly beside her during her daily rituals and responsibilities from time to time and ask her questions about what it was like to be Hummingbird. She said once, "I am not all I appear to be. You see, I married Lark and was adopted by Owl.  They taught me much. Lark, taught me to listen to life's song and to be more light-hearted and playful. This is how I learned to laugh more and let go of things I cannot control. Owl loved me unconditionally and was confident in herself and her abilities. She showed me how strong I could be and the importance of family. She also helped me to embrace my own curiosities and strengths which has served me well."

I have asked Hummingbird "Why. . . ?" so many times. She said that we should do our best to accept the things we do not understand and have faith that although reasons are beyond our knowing, that they exist and may become clear to us later. She showed me that miracles and magic are about letting go and taking life for what it is. She said that she struggled with these things too. She shared with me that she found comfort in stories full of wonder and magic. She prayed for patience and guidance and found it in places and people she loved. She said that she was still learning, every day. She said that her children and her grandchildren were her most precious treasures - as they challenged her and taught her most about love, life, and faith. 

Hummingbird is still very busy.  If you look, perhaps you will catch a glimpse of her today.